Monday, January 20, 2014

Stuff and Things

I've changed. I'm not the same person I was 25 years ago. Or 15 years ago. Or even 5 years ago. In fact I'm different today than I was less than a year ago. 

 Things have shifted for me as I'm sure they do for everyone as they get older. This mid-life thing is very interesting. I have said out loud to several people that it seems incredibly unfair that our 20 year old self gets to make life changing decisions for our 40 year old self. You just don't have enough information at 20 or 22 to know who you are or who you want to be or what you want to do with your life. 

At least I didn't. Maybe other people figured it out and set goals and reached for them. I just sort of did stuff. And then I did some other stuff. And then there were some things that I did and some stuff that happened...

And so I found myself a couple of years ago looking around and saying, "what the hell?" 

And I've been working through that. And now I'm 47 and I still haven't figured out what I want but I'm coming to terms with things. I would not trade my kids in for anything. I can honestly say that something was very right in my life for these two amazing beings to come from it. And I would do all of it all over again so that they could be right where they are today. So that tells me that my life isn't as screwed up as it sometimes appears to be. 

And, obviously, I don't care as much about what other people think. 

And now I'm in the process of letting go of all of the stuff and things that I "should" have done and working on setting those goals and reaching for those things that I want. Except that I don't know what those things are yet. 

But I'm working on it...

And motivational posters seem to be the key ... ? ....



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